Pre-show festivities:

Ethan Cash and Private Eye Slade Porter were victorious in the two surprise pre-show matches, observed by a polite crowd who were potentially more invested in waiting for their pizza to come from the bar. Spaulding Hall’s pizzas, delivered right to you at your seat as you watch the action, has developed a fanbase of its own. I unfortunately missed a share of pre-show match one in line for a pepperoni pizza, but as a journalist, I offer my unbiased review of the famed pizza:

I ordered the true classic slice, a good ol’ pepperoni pizza, no frills, no buffalo or bbq sauces. With the rush of early Anarchy fans attempting to get and eat their pizzas before the main show started, I waited for about five-ish minutes in line and another fifteen or so for the pizza to be brought out to my seat. The pizza, a thin crust, square-cut offering, was what some would call “well done”, with blackened crust around the edges and a bit of char to some parts of the cheese. 

While the crust was too crispy to enjoy, the rest of the pizza flourished. Before I knew it, I had powered through half a pizza. A couple in the row in front of me offered me a slice of their pizza, I believed to be a barbecue chicken pizza, but realized I had ate half a pizza on my own and probably didn’t need anymore. This pizza is best enjoyed with friends, because alone you might accidentally eat the whole thing like I did. 

Okay, back in the ring, Everett Connors was addressing Raul the Bear, who apparently has been interfering in Connors’ match, unbeknownst to the competitor. Connors announced he had recruited someone to watch Raul and make sure he doesn’t break the rules, and out came “Space Jesus” Billie Starkz. Starkz attempted to teach Raul a handshake/how to play pattycake, and the Bear looked visibly embarrassed when it had some trouble with the routine. 

Jake Dirden def. “Lionheart” Cole Radrick

Greg Jovi came out and introduced Dirden and the rest of his goons in action for the night. I originally couldn’t hear his name because the crowd was chanting “Shut the fuck up” very loudly at him. Radrick impressed in 4-way action in his last Anarchy match, and while he was overpowered by Dirden physically, he fought resiliently, and came close to grabbing a win. 

Anthony “Sharkbait” Gutierrez def. The Kenway

The Kenway, like The Ohio State University, might not necessarily need a “the” before his name, but like The Ohio State University, his attitude demands the distinction. While I do really enjoy The Kenway’s wrestling style, and his new intro music slaps, I’d be remiss if I didn’t state that the Anarchy faithful gave his dad a more loving reception. 

Anthony Gutierrez never looks panicked or overly out of sorts in a wrestling ring, having seen it all spanning his professional mixed martial arts and professional wrestling careers. Sharkbait’s mat training and offense overwhelmed, and he ended the match with a stiff kick to The Kenway’s jaw. The Kenway would need help to the back following the match. 

Chip Day def. Aaron Williams

Aaron Williams was greeted with a “Welcome back” chant from the Anarchy crowd, and also received a roaring ovation when he removed his very real tie mid-match. Chip Day, who didn’t quite get the reception he was looking for at Battle of Spaulding, met a much warmer and more welcoming audience at No Church In The Wild. This was the first of several strike-heavy matches. Both men chopped the hell out of each other’s chests, but it was ultimately Chip Day’s stiff kicks that proved the difference. 

Christian Rose def. “The Best Hand In The House” Larry D

Christian Rose is the second member of Greg Jovi’s villainous stable in action at No Church In The Wild, with Jovi accompanying him to the ring. Larry D threw his weight around in the best way in this match, using a size advantage to counter Rose. Rose called timeout mid-match, which, if you’re not familiar, is not a thing in professional wrestling, and used the momentary confusion of Larry D and the official to turn the tide of the match. With the referee distracted by Jovi, previously mentioned stablemate Jake Dirden came out and incapacitated Larry D, and Rose sealed the victory. 

Gary Jay def. Thomas Shire

When I saw this match on the card, I had a feeling that it had “steal the show” potential. It got out of hand quickly. Shire threw Gary Jay out of the ring early on, setting the tone for the rest of the match. Shire german suplexed Jay onto chairs and the cold, hard tile of the Spaulding Hall floor. Jay and Shire were throwing chairs at each other on the outside, fans running for both safety and a better view. Both competitors have earned a reputation for putting it all on the line, and this match was a shining example of why that is. Back in the ring, an exchange of strikes ended with Gary Jay landing a vicious shot, and he unexpectedly won via knockout. 

The finish left some confused, with those in the back without a clear view of the ring wondering why all the sudden Gary Jay’s music was playing. Especially not happy with the finish was Greg Jovi, Jake Dirden, and Christian Rose. They effectively kicked Thomas Shire out by continuing to lay waste to Shire after the match had ended. 

In a shocking twist, Angelus Layne, who had previously announced at Anarchy last year she was leaving wrestling following a neck injury, appeared to save Thomas Shire, but then kicked him as she was standing on a chair (a Saint Louis Anarchy no-no, it’s one of the rules) and was joined in the ring by Jovi, Dirden, and Rose. What does the return of Angelus Layne hold for Saint Louis Anarchy?

“Diamond Cut” Ace Perry and The Reigel Twins def. Evan Gelistico, Everett Connors, and “Space Jesus” Billie Starkz

While I had thought “Big Beef” Gnarls Garvin was going to be in this match, it was a pleasant surprise to find out Billie Starkz was in action at Anarchy again. Starkz, or “Space Jesus” has become an Anarchy fan favorite, and showed why in this match. Everett Connors might have the best wardrobe going in wrestling today, and Evan Gelistico was attempting to keep up wearing some great light-up high tops. 

The Reigel Twins and Ace Perry are jerks, but very gifted athletes. The Reigels make a dynamic duo, and even pulled a bit of “twin magic” in this match to confuse Everett Connors. The Twins have even caught the eye of the prestigious New Japan Pro Wrestling, recently booked to compete at New Japan’s Lion’s Break events in December. There’s no doubt that the Reigel Twins are starting to make a claim for the hottest tag team going in Anarchy today. 

Independent Wrestling TV Title: Warhorse def. Curt Stallion

If you haven’t heard, or haven’t been on wrestling social media lately, you might not know that Warhorse rules ass. Warhorse has consumed the man once known as Jake Parnell, and he’s ascended to new heights, marked by him capturing the Independent Wrestling TV Championship. His reign has been highlighted by kicking guys out of chairs, headbanging, and as previously noted, ruling ass. Curt Stallion is no slouch himself, and while he might not yell as much as Warhorse, his ruthless offense speaks for itself. 

A “Both these horses” chant met the two as they squared off for the first time. Stallion seemingly threw everything but the kitchen sink at Warhorse, but the man wouldn’t budge. On several pin attempts, Warhorse kicked out before the ref even counted once. Stallion was befuddled, and figured he just needed to turn up the intensity to best the champion. You simply cannot be more intense than the current iteration of Warhorse, and eventually Stallion tapped, the Independent Wrestling TV champion retaining his crown. 

The Besties In The World def. The Workhorsemen

The fan favorites in this one were clear from the outset. As I’ve reiterated in just about every review or preview I’ve written, Anarchy wouldn’t be Anarchy without the Besties. The Besties, in so many words, demanded a rematch with the Workhorsemen at Battle Of Spaulding, and Anarchy made it happen. The Workhorsemen are well respected, but not necessarily liked by the Anarchy faithful. 

The precise tag team offense of the Workhorsemen was on display at No Church In The Wild, primarily, attacking Bestie Mat Fitchett’s left leg, his plant leg, and leaving Davey Vega, the other Bestie, watching from the corner. The referee of this encounter was intent to keep the match from boiling over, and kept Davey Vega fairly locked inside the Besties corner, while it seemed he didn’t quite manage the Workhorsemen’s corner as much. Not being able to plant on a hurt left leg, Mat Fitchett couldn’t get enough force behind his strikes to do much damage to either Anthony Henry or JD Drake. It was the heroics of Davey Vega, pulling his hurt Bestie through some tag team offense, that won the match for the good guys. 

Following the match, perhaps irritated with a loss on the Besties’ home turf, Anthony Henry took his anger out on his tag partner, to the shock of the crowd and the shock of the Besties still in the ring. Left alone and vulnerable, Drake was defensive when the Besties first approached. Vega reached out for a handshake, and didn’t mean any harm.

“You’re cool with us man.” Mat Fitchett reassured Drake. “That guy (Anthony Henry) is an asshole.” Henry, with his actions, has seemingly ended the Workhorsemen, who were plying their trade all over the globe. Without Drake by his side, one wonders if Henry will be able to reach the heights the team once did. 

Gateway Heritage Championship: “The Monarch” Jeremy Wyatt def. Mikey

Mikey, aware that Jeremy Wyatt is in his true element in these “pure wrestling rules” title defenses, attempted a strategy of catching Wyatt off guard before he could even prepare for the match. Mikey took the fight out into the people, throwing himself at Wyatt and the crowd around the ring as well. Wyatt looked legitimately out of sorts and caught off guard by Mikey’s efforts, until the match got back to the ring. 

While Mikey is a fun competitor, Wyatt’s prowess on the mat was ultimately too much for him. His critics might say the “pure” rules tilt the tables too far in his favor in his defenses of the Gateway Heritage Championship, but Wyatt prides himself in his technical skills, and one could infer he believes a true Gateway Heritage Champion should be literate on the mat. 

After his twenty-third successful GHC defense, Jeremy Wyatt addressed the Anarchy faithful. He brought up the Four Pillars of St. Louis Wrestling, Davey Vega, Mat Fitchett, Gary Jay, and Warhorse, and the credit many give them for building the St. Louis wrestling scene as it exists today. He then mentioned Nick Gage, a man who “comes in here with a different company’s shirt on” who’s beaten Gary Jay and Warhorse at Anarchy this year. 

Wyatt made a salient point about the “Anarchy faithful” gleefully cheering for a man representing a different wrestling promotion beating the crap out of some of the Four Pillars that the same crowd worships as local wrestling gods. Next Anarchy show, Nick Gage makes his return to challenge Jeremy Wyatt for the Gateway Heritage Championship.

Wyatt addressed this upcoming match with Gage, and how he usually defends his titles under the “pure” rules and how some think he’s chickening out by only defending the title under those stipulations. Wyatt proclaimed that since Nick Gage is too dumb for those rules and would just get disqualified in a matter of minutes, that he would be waiving the rules. Wyatt vs. Gage, anything goes, for the GHC strap. See you next time at Spaulding Hall.